7/2 Time out Tues. Vol 3

Hosted by LarryD at AOA

1) Just so we're clear...it's a mortal sin to root for the Patriots in the Super Bowl. Therefore you must root for the Giants. I will be watching the game this weekend...on the account I want to see Brady et crew get hammered. Not gonna lie, I want to see a 70-0 beat down, but it's not going to happen. 

2) Sign this Petition stating that the zero administration rescind the mandate that Catholic organizations provide contraceptions and abortions....We need to step up our game, We have all slacked. We can not comply with anything that has us go against our Faith. Even if the Bishops' haven't been preaching on it like they should. 

3) I changed my voice mail to Russian...we'll see how many people call me now. Yes, my sense of humor is a bit twisted. But the voice mail is professional. 

7/2) Note to self, don't stay up til 4 am talking to Russian friend. Or do stay up that late :D

Of nightmares still lived.

As I warned ahead of time, I said that this year was going to be a long year for me. There are 10 year anniversaries of things that aren't so special in my life. I'm only going to talk about one of them.

The order of magnitude of EM force is 100 000 000 000 000 000 000 times greater than the gravity force. That is to say the EM force is a whole lot stronger than anything gravity has an excuse to put up with.

You may ask, why in the world am I discussing physics in a nightmare? I'm a physicist, so a nightmare about physics wouldn't make sense. In that sense you are right. But I am using as an analogy.

There are some people that I let into my life a bit closer than others. I tell them more, and as a result, they are more strongly attached to me. It is much harder to let these people go, or change the status quo, than someone who is on the outside of those people that I let in.

It still haunts me the fact that my ex best friend and I aren't talking. It's been 10 years. I've tried out reach, mostly through writing, to be completely ignored. It hurts the fact that I don't exist. It hurts the fact that she took advantage of me. It hurts the fact that she lied to me. It hurts the fact that she wasn't there for me when I needed her. It hurts the fact that she didn't see I was acting differently on purpose. It hurts the fact we haven't reconciled, though we have said cordial greetings once in a while. It hurts the fact that every time I think of her, I think of the one time she hurt me over the good memories that we have. It hurts me the fact that she's dating an ex friend. And what hurts the most is the fact that she's still in my thoughts. She still haunts me. (Mention her name, and I will hurt you)

So, in this nightmare...I ask out one of my dearest friends. She turns into said ex best friend and repeats the same words she wrote to me "I hate you, you're annoying,..." I woke up screaming (well, in my head anyway). Such is a paradox in my life: I've been hit by a car, I've lost my mom, aunt, grandma within 3 years of each other, I almost died when I was a kid twice, and I fear asking out my best friend. I often joke it takes a ton to scare me. The normal means of freaking me out don't work. Takes something out the ordinary.

I write this first and foremost that you will pray for me to overcome the will of my enemies. It is the Enemy that keeps bringing these things to my mind.

Secondly, I write this that you may keep my vocation in your prayers...whatever it happens to be.

Thirdly, I ask you to pray for this ex best friend, that she will desire to be reconciled to me.

Fourthly, I ask that you pray for two friends who I will not mention by name.

Lastly, I ask that you pray for Holy Mother Church that she be exalted and free to proclaim the Gospel of Christ (Last because it's the most important).

Thought of the Day

Thought of the day

My thoughts almost exactly: They were loved out the Church

Thought of the day

Just because I feel something does NOT obligate me to act upon it.

7/2 Time out Tuesday Vol 2.

LarryD at AOA hosts this...Here's Vol 2.

1. I tend to be very secretive, not because I have things to hide, simply because I don't want everyone all in my business. I will tell you what I want to tell you. That said, I nearly blew my cover the other day in conversation with a friend of mine. See, the thing is, I've very very very quietly thought of this friend as being someone that could potentially be someone more. Of course by putting this on public record, I've really blown my cover. I have many paradoxes.

2) Some neighbors have recently been blaring their stereos quite loudly. I thought my generation was the last to do that, and this generation had a bit of sense...I guess not. Fortunately, I've found a solution to this problem:

3) I'm in the process of writing a physics book. I'm a believer in the saying if want a job done well, do it yourself, so I am. Some of the wonderful gems to come out of this book are:

"If you ever state Newton's 2nd Law is F = ma, you'll get yelled at by a Russian Lady"

"Forget everything you've learned about physics, all of it is wrong."

And various other sarcastic remarks :)

7/2)...

Someone asked me, how did I become so "smart" in physics....I simply told them...Mrs. Makárova is responsible for me studying physics and being intrigued with the subject. Either that, or I spent hours upon hours reciting lectures to myself. I left it to them to figure out which one could be true...

Now it's your turn! Write, link to LarryD, and to me :D

Thought of the day

I'm avoiding the state of the Blame Bush Address...

Thought of the day

The USCCB, I hope didn't expect the government to play nice and grant an exemption for abortion and contraceptives when they asked that something be done about the healthcare system. This is what happens when you play ball with the government and assume they'll do good will. You lose. The girly approach of conversation isn't working. How about trying a more manly method next time?

7/2 (mixed numbers, bleh) Time-Out Tuesday Vol 1.

The LarryD over at Acts of the Apostasy started this. I finally have a Tuesday where I can participate.

1) There was a friend of mine in high school who said of me "You always strive for the impossible." Apparently, this is true, since I'm applying to be a part-time physics prof with a BA who just happens to be writing a book at the same time. Well, God hoping, some kind of miracle can happen :). We'll see if the College of Southern Idaho makes a wise decision and hires me to lecture in physics. 

2) I've been advised to start a podcast and show...since I have nothing better to do, I'm going to start it. e-mail me here, if you wish to be on the show. Write down your name and topics you want to discuss :), and yours truly will get back to you. 

3) I found this blog at complete random. It's a petition to the Holy Father to revoke the insult for hand communion. Click the thingy in the side bar and sign.  You know where I stand on it, I say sign it, and give the blog some support. It's by 2 priests and a layman in Aussie land. 

7/2 (that's 3.5 for you non math majors)....

I used the words "I know the words I need to say" as a tribute to my favourite band Evanescence, when I first started this blog. However, life slowly is settling itself down. So, therefore I'm wondering what Latin title should I use for the blog? Suggestions will be taken as comments. :)

Now it's your turn :)

Have a blessed Tuesday. 

Thought of the day

Beauty is objective...

Some thoughts....

a. Liturgical Pluralism

Is not such a bad idea. You know those days before Trent. When each order had a different rite or usage. Perhaps this is where our Holy Father stands. If that's the case, it's perfectly fine. What exactly is wrong with having different rites in the Church? We already have that in Eastern Expressions of the Faith. There is nothing wrong with the NO and TLM existing side by side. I think all of the treasures of the Western Rite of the Church need to be available for all (Ambrosian, Dominican, Barga, Sarum, etc). These expressions of the Faith do not take away from the oneness of the Church.

b. the GOP race

Let's be honest...Romney is just Obama Lite, and Gingrich though well spoken and eloquent is apart of the establishment. We can not make mistake by nominating a moderate. A moderate will lose to the zero in chief period.

c. Vocation thoughts...

We'll see what happens....we'll see. I know what direction I'm leaning...But I'll have to talk when my head is clear.

d. Your prayers

Are needed for my situation.

e. Podcast/Webshow

Is in the works...thinking of titles and topics, your suggestions are appreciated :)

Zavala Resignation

As a former member of the archdiocese you just knew I was going to comment...here are some not so humble observations...

1) One thing that I always noticed about him was a lax celebration of Mass. That is to say he never really celebrated Masses that I've been to with him as celebrant with reverence. A very chummy ars celebrandi so to speak. This is one thing that never impressed me about him. All you need to do is look at videos of the REC Mass to know what I'm talking about (I save you from linking to the videos)

2) Pouring of the Precious Blood after the consecration = a very bad thing = if you don't care for Jesus, why would you care for His Church? To say that this came to me as a surprise...LOL!, nope, not at all.

3) If you think the Archdiocese of LA didn't know about this earlier, you've got to be kidding yourself. The Office has been a factory of corruption for well, 25 years now, and slowly that is getting cleaned up. It would not surprise me one bit if Cardinal Mahony knew about this...in which case BOTH Zavala AND Mahony need be deposed from the office of Bishop in public, preferably in the Vetus Ordo form.

4) No, this not a case to have married priests in the Roman Rite. If you want married priests, go East. If anything it shows that anyone can fall. I guess the positive, dated a girl, and it's not quite as corrupt as the Borgia's.

5) In your charity offer prayers for "Bp" Zavala, his children, the mother, and for the Archdiocese. As if LA wasn't bad enough already...well, I guess that means we'll be getting a new auxiliary soon...I hope one of my faithful priest friends becomes appointed.

Reflections upon 2011

Reflections upon 2011

First since I haven’t been writing much...let me wish all of you a blessed Christmas season. May it be joyful and bring upon many graces for you and your family. I also wish a most blessed 2012 that you be filled with health and prosperity. 

Second, let me apologize for not writing so much lately. I have been very busy with teaching and have not had the time to really write things down. 

I have many things to say, so bear with me....

In short, 2011 can be divided into as with all things, the good, the bad and the ugly. 

1. The good

1. Being a physics teacher at a not so local school. I have moved out to Idaho, and I’m glad that I made the move out to teach physics. Physics is my strongest subject by far, and it reflects in my teaching. If I do end up teaching for the rest of my life, I will teach physics all the time. 

1. Independence...it’s good to finally be out of everyone’s shadow and no longer dependent on anyone or anything. Living on my own rocks :)

1. There are various other things that have been good, but all of them need not be stated.
2. Met Adrienne from the blogging world :)

1. The Bad. 

1. I haven’t written much about the 2nd semester of living Religious Life. When I came back from vacation the previous year, something felt off...I could not point to what it was...upon reflection, and discussion with my classmates, I was able to piece 2 and 2 together. I can’t publicly comment on what we discussed. But what was discussed seemed to confirm my interior thoughts even though I did not express those thoughts. I used exterior actions to reflect the interior thoughts that were going on in my head. (Withdraw, and various other things)...For those of you that know me in real life, know that I don’t tend to be very confrontational in person unless provoked. I tend to keep my thoughts to myself and open up to very few people. Yes, living religious life was hard, but I didn’t think that it was impossible. When I left, I felt used (not a strange feeling in my life)...something felt incomplete...as if I wasn’t finished....more on that later. 

1. There are various things that have changed, and I’m not really a fan of those changes. There are some friends who continue to be in situations which I absolutely detest. There are various people that are doing things that I am not a fan of. 

3) These are a few of my least favourite things: 

1. One of those that are considered closest to my heart being influenced by someone to the right of me. 
2. Being used, taken advantage of by someone you start to care for.
3. Thinking that you have an understanding with someone only to be betrayed. 
4. When the Liturgy is abused in any shape or form. 
5. Not even having an opportunity to impress or show my various talents. 
6. Any mention whatsoever of the ebf
7. When people are disrespectful and disregard what little authority that I do have ;)
8. Anything related to Biebs, Cyrus, or Rebecca Black
9. The constant questions of asking when I’m going to get married...as I’ve said, and I’ll say it again...the day there’s an invite in your box. That’s when...until then zip it. 

1. Well, there’s a lot more, but I have a category to write. 
2. Oh yes, people insisting rights where rights don’t exist. 

The Ugly

1. I’ve always had this theory on women...it’s proven to be right. “All women are evil.” (The BVM doesn’t count, and nor do a few people that I’m thinking of as I write this)...I used to qualify it by anyone who breaks my heart is evil. I’ve had a basic, I don’t give a rats anymore who the heck I offend. The bottom line, women, if you’re not ready to be in a relationship, DO NOT BE IN ONE! If you’re just using a guy to try and get back with your ex...FUDGE YOU! And for FUDGE’s sake DO NOT SAY ANYTHING THAT YOU DON’T MEAN NO MATTER HOW MUCH “PRESSURE” YOU FEEL IGNORE IT!  Do not end up causing someone to have weeks of sleepless nights and making his life miserable....and if ANYONE FALLS FOR YOU AT WORK DO NOT PURSUE IT, RESIGN, then pursue!Trust me...you have no idea how much I go to work and end up wanting to do things that aren’t quite charitable to her. Yes, I’m still angry, probably more angry now that I used to be. 

1. It seems to be a repeated feeling of last year was “being used.” So it seems from time at sem, to relationships with various peoples. I can say there aren’t that many times in distant memory that I’ve felt like this. Last year that comes to mind is 2002. I hate intermediate steps, let’s just get to the conclusion of what’s supposed to happen. 

1. Hysteria...honestly, the world isn’t going to end in 2012...there are bigger things to worry about than crappy environmental science. 

2012 a new year with a few horrible things to look forward to

1. This year will be the 10 year anniversary of my mom’s death...Time has flown, still feels like yesterday
2. It has also been 10 years since I’ve spoken to one of the people that I’ve alluded to in this post...still hoping for reconciliation...STILL!

Some shout outs

1. Adrienne from Adrienne’s corner...glad to have met her :). hope to catch her again one of these days. 

1. Emmy...love ya older sis...Thanks for all that you do, and being a great friend. I don’t think I have a closer friend in the blogosphere than her :)

1. Mrs. Tatyana Makarova...thanks for being my lifeline when it comes to all things physics. I know you’re humble and don’t wish for lauds, but I’m going to do it anyway, it’s my blog...You are like a mother to me, I don’t think you know how much love that I have for you. You’re a great teacher, a great friend. *Tries not to tear as writing this post*

1. Angelica...you, Emmy and I are going to have to meet up one of these days....timing never seems to be good. Though I may be in San Fran one of these days. (the 28th of April)

1. the Rachel’s, both the girl I sponsor for Confirmation, and the former blogger :)

Expectations for 2012

1. to actually have fully finished, revised, my thesis. (aka my physics textbook)...and published :D
2. For Obama to be voted out of office in November, don’t disappoint me America. 
3. For persecution of Catholics to increase
4. To be open to whatever God asks of me....
5. To have a percentage of vote for the presidency

Anyways, it’s time for me to zip my mouth. I wish that all of you have a most blessed 2012.