12 years...still not easy

While the Church of East and of West celebrates the solemnity of Ss Peter and Paul, today is the 12th anniversary of my mom's death.

In your charity, if you can please pray for her, and for myself, my oldest nephew, my sister and my dad. By no means do these things get any easier, Normally I find it much easier to hide my own suffering, but I guess it's one of those things that a teenage boy should not have to watch his mother deteriorate right in front of him.

For the blessed repose of my mother, let us pray to the Lord, Lord have mercy

For the souls of the faithfully departed, let us pray to the Lord, Lord have mercy

For a good account before the fearsome judgement seat of Christ, let us beesech the Lord, Grant this O Lord.

Pray for me, it's been rather rough this year, and I really do feel like breaking down

Pax Vobis

A rare glimpse into my own suffering....

Today would have been my mom's birthday. Even nearly 12 years after, it's still difficult for me (perhaps losing mom at age 16 really messes things up).....I don't normally write about personal things on my blog, but I guess I'll make an exception today...

In your charity if you could offer prayers for her and myself it'd be lovely...

They often say that you can tell how a guy will treat a girl, by how he treats his mother. They also say that guys look for girls that are like their mothers. I don't know how much the latter is true, but the former, most definitely is so.

I must say during HS when I was going through this absolute misery, there was really one person that helped me (albeit, only in the way that I let her do so) (I tuned everyone out...I deal with everything in isolation, and only let particular people in my bubble)...

This person didn't need to use words, her presence was simply enough, though sometimes...as a matter of fact, often, when I walked with her, I said nothing, I just let my heart speak through us walking....words really couldn't express the suffering and pain that I was going through, so I didn't use them. But anytime I was in her presence, I was at peace...and although things were absolutely miserable, for a short time, things were actually somewhat bearable.

Lent is a time to be more perfect, a time to come closer to Him, a time to realize that we've screwed up, repent, and change our lives for the better.

I tend to think reconciling with a friend that you haven't talked to you for 12 years is on the list of a good idea. (or absolutely crazy).

Anyways, I'm breaking into tears writing this, so I'm going to stop, pray for me, please.