On the vigil of the solemnity of the nativity of Joe

In stroke of linguistic genius...I have coined "the solemnity of the nativity of Joe" (Yes, the lowercase letters are on purpose)

I could have just said today was the day before my birthday, but that's completely overdone.

A few thoughts...

1. The road to heaven is paved with the souls of Junior High teachers (7th and 8th). The crap they have to put up with is beyond anything I would expect anyone to do. I teach 7th and 8th graders, teaching them is hopefully cutting time off of purgatory. I studied to teach high school kids, this is really testing my patience.
2.  Listen to the statement, "We're protesting Wall St." I find it hilarious...forgive me for thinking the protest of an intimate object is a bad idea. What did the street do to you?
3. I bought an apartment in Grangeville, ID....I'm pretty excited about this new and upcoming opportunity.
4. If you're going to take a test, it should relate to what you studied...so why on the DMV test does it have questions about the rights of motorcycles, when I'm taking a test on cars?

Yes, it's my birthday tomorrow...:)

God Bless

Mr. P

On the glorious Feast day of St Therese

God has His way of doing things that are beyond our comprehension...I must say somethings are getting clearer. It's been quite a long time since I've last blogged, a few updates....

a. I have moved....

I now live in Cottonwood, ID. I am a math and science teacher at a school in the "city." (Town doesn't even reach 1000). As I've mentioned previously, it's always been in my heart to teach. A different kind of peace is present here at my new job and with everyone that I've made friends with. The situation that I was at home dealing with, I had to leave it, there was interior stress that I wasn't going to express.

• I don't have to hide my Faith. I can be Catholic without attacks coming from the inside. 
• I don't have to hide my political beliefs, I can be conservative without being looked down upon. 
• Even though my job is hard, I enjoy all of my students and everything that I have to do to prepare to do a good job. 

It has been a bit of culture shock for me, getting used to "crick" instead of "creek" (Something I refuse to give into.) has been quite the challenge. But so far, everyone has been great to me that I've met here. I went to dinner with Adrienne and her husband. Yet to meet Anita

b. It's NOT God's will that I be a priest.

Really the thought of priesthood hasn't crossed my mind much since I've left seminary. It's painful sure, but I know that God isn't calling me to be a priest. That's not something that I have control over. 

c. Liturgical fights are not worth it.

Honestly, it's to the point, where as long as the Priest doesn't pour Jesus after the consecration, or screw up the words of consecration, I don't care about the abuse. There is nothing that I can do about it. I am not in control, (as much as I like to be at times). There's only one of me, prayer, hope and not stressing are good things I'm attempting somewhat to develop. 

d. You don't think I forgot it's St Therese's feast day did you? I've been meaning to mention a few things. 

• St Therese and I have quite a few things in common. We're both stubborn as heck. We've both fallen asleep praying the Rosary and we both have a deep love for God in our efforts to do the simple things. Was able to go to confession today and again reflect on her life in relation to mine. (For those of you that happen to be in Spokane, make sure you go to St Al's at Gonzaga, it's a gorgeous Church...nota been, just to visit, I make no endorsement for Mass). Things are not in my control, and I'm very slowly accepting that fact. 
• As a guy, flowers aren't my biggest interest. Roses from St Therese however are a completely different story. I think she has sent one in the form of a particular person. We'll see.

Thank you to all of you that have been praying for me. Please continue to do so. I will do so for you as well. God bless

Mr. P

Thoughts for a Friday Evening

• It's a lot easier to pray, when you're praying with someone. The fact that I'm able to pray the brieviary with a friend of mine definitely gives me reason to think something greater is possible. Though I must say, it's interesting trying to pray 3 hours apart. We always end up doing what's on my time zone.
• Even though rejection letters and e-mails suck, it's better than ignoring the candidate that applied for the position.
• For the solemnity of the Assumption, I saw a good friend....I should hold a grudge against her, but I don't. That's probably because like myself, she's also a mathematician. And I have complete and total sympathy to mathematicians and physicist

In the search of employment

Apparently,I'm not even worth a rejection call or e-mail..Just flat out ignored...Oh well, their loss. Ugh, 0-3, prayers would be appreciated.

Almost a year after the fact.

I can certainly say the past year of my life has been much like a sinusoidal wave. Up and down, in a relatively repetitive pattern. Between my own struggles in discernment with a religious order, to my flat out anger when I left, I can honestly say the realm of emotional trial that has been my life has been very taxing, though, while a lot of the things about myself I knew to be true, were only magnified in the presence of religious life.

I'm not one for believing people in general...I'm quite pessimistic when it comes to my attitude towards people. I have major doubts when it comes to peoples' opinions, or what they may be, but every once in a while there are some that are able to figure things out or finish my sentences.

a. My time was conflicted with various thoughts.

Those of you that know me in real life, know me to be a person who probably thinks more than he should. The thought of whether I wanted to be a priest was often often challenged.  When i saw a particular sister smile, I always thought of the vocation of marriage. I'd go into nights of detailed analysis of that particular thought and quite often would have sleepless nights. I'm also the same person that does not do anything until coming to an absolute conclusion about whatever I was thinking about. As I'll put it, my ability to organize and separate things became magnified. The thought of marriage didn't really bother me so much, as I've often heard it said, if you don't want to be a father to children, you shouldn't be a priest. So, I was consoled in that fact during my time in religious life.

b. I long to teach, it's as simple as that.

Literally from the second classes started, I missed being on front of my students' and teaching them. But again, this did not bother me, simple solution, be a teaching priest, instead of one that did parish works. I enjoy passing on the things that I know to others, even though I do not enjoy being the center of attention. (Such is the paradox of an introverted teacher). So I took the time to interject things here and there where appropriate.

c. I do not like being pushed, and will swing back, period, I don't care who you are.

As with anyone I have my various weaknesses. Mine involve around personal attacks. I've gotten professors fired for doing things like that to me. It wasn't going to be any different regardless, i do not tolerate being personally attacked by a professor. There are many that said I shouldn't say anything, just bow down and agree to him, sorry, I refuse to do that when I'm personally insulted.

d. Change, forget it.

Order and beauty are things that appeal to me personally. I liked the structure of religious life. I liked the order of things. That said, I have always gone about doing things in un-orthodox ways. I remember my mom always telling me that I liked to do things the hard way. I still do. I go about conforming in my own way, especially when it's not specified, how to go about doing it. Might be my own stubbornness speaking. I don't like change, not even the lack of change in my pocket. Change is a disruption to my order, hence my distain towards it. I have a method of going about business, and it's successful, I will not adapt it for anyone or anything. Let me give example. I study best in the evening (between 10p-12a), I can not study before that. Now this is particularly hard to do in religious life. Now I'm a nerd, who likes to study and am known for not putting books down. I invest myself heavily towards my schoolwork, even if it doesn't often look like it. I tried to do things differently, it did not work, I have to do things a particular way otherwise order is disrupted.

e. Well, onto the positive...

There is someone that has caught my interest as a potential Mrs. me. I find it interesting that her and I have both discerned religious life. Reminds me in a way of the lives of St Therese's parents (both her and I being fans of St Therese). I think the chance to incorporate our learnings from religious life is a good thing. Curious minds will seek, and not get a name, at least not publicly on this blog.

f. I have applied to teach math and physics in Tennessee. Pray that I get the job :)....

Thanks for reading, God bless

Random thoughts

• America's next top model, is extremely degrading to women and places materialistic exterior beauty above interior beauty.Why do we show this crap on TV?
• Latin is meant to be sung, not recited
• More things aren't in our control than we care to recognize.
• I think it's pretty good if you can pray LOTH over long distances. 
• I don't forget rejections....period.

My open letter to trad Caths...and of their like

Chances are you'll never read this letter as it's on the most unimportant blog on the internet. Off the chance that you happen to come across this letter, here are a few thoughts for consideration. 

a. The same arguments and the same debates get quite annoying. Whether you're talking about the mistakes of Bl. JP II, validity of the NO, or how the Church was supposedly pre-Vatican II, hearing the same message becomes very bland after a while....lest you get on my nerves again, here's a reality check.

1. There are 2 that are perfect: Jesus and the Blessed Mother. Every other Saint screwed up at some point. No Saint has the charism of infalibility. Lest you be confused, St Augustine was a Manacheist before his conversion to the True Faith. Yes, JP II did some questionable things the litany could go on for a while. He was a sagnuine and an extrovert. (To translate that for you traddies, it means he was a huge people person and tried to please people to a fault). None of us are in the condition to judge his heart. Observing from the outside of his personality type, I'm quite sure that he did not intend to offend anyone. It doesn't make sense to most people...especially to myself as a heavy introvert and meloncholic. The Church has spoken of him as Blessed. This is not an infallible decison as has been made clear by the Pope cutting down majorly on his celebration of beatifications, yet if you're going to sit and complain about this, you're wasting your time. If you don't like it, don't pray to him, plain and simple...there are plenty of Saints to pray to, pick one. 

2. All the conspiracy theories about the NO are quite annoying as well. Newsflash, if it was a protestant Missal,  the Missal wouldn't be valid. The Church has no ability to proclaim invalid Sacraments. Something to think about, The Sacrifice of the Mass is still there IN SPITE of what Bugnini and crew tried to do. The NO is seldom done to the highest degree of solemnity it should be. The Scriptual Propers are unfortunately not used in 99.99% of NO Masses, hence by de facto anthrocentric Mass. I'd love to tell you that the NO is going to disappear, but at this moment in time it isn't. Instead of complaining, do something about it. Bring what the Holy Father is doing to your parish. Get to kneeling, praying, and gradually get things to this point. You don't boil a frog by immediately placing him in hot water don't you? See what our Holy Father has done, gradually changing things from 2005-to now. Things don't change overnight...get some patience, or buy some on e-bay.

3. If you think there was 100% obedience before Vatican II, newsflash you're wrong about that too. There's this thing called media and modern technology which makes it seem like disobedience is running rampant. People didn't listen then either. Remember Judas Iscariot was a validly ordained Bishop, and we do suffer from concupiscene. There will always be those that try to thwart the Church. Just look at the sex-abuse scandal to see that things weren't perfect pre-Vatican II. The 15th century ended a long time ago. It's the 21st century now. The Church need not change, and I do agree she does need to get back to the things that worked, modern gimmicks aren't really cutting it. Things will be perfect if we God willing reach heaven. Now in the mean time, pray, hope, and shut up. The TLM didn't solve all of our problems then, and it won't solve all of our problems now. 

b. Quit trying to be a jack of all trades...stick to what you're good (or not so good) at

1. As a physicist, my curiosity with the natural order of the world, I'm always listening to various things. I must say it makes me laugh when I hear people (in particular certain trads) say that the sun revolves around the earth. (Yes, there are people that still believe that)...a. The Church Fathers are NOT infallible on this issue. b. The laws of physics are the same regardless of reference frames. c. and most important of all. Fr. Coparnicus was never condemned as a heretic. The problem wasn't that Gallileo was wrong, but that he crossed the line between science and theology and didn't have proof for his arguments. Now, that said, the earth was created before the Sun, but what is not stated is where the earth is placed on a system of axis. The sun being center of the universe, or not, is irrelevant to our salvation. Don't argue over it. 

2. While I promote modesty in dress, I will not go to the extreme position and say that pants are intrinsically evil and should never be worn by females. Fashion evolves and changes. The important thing is modesty, both interior and exterior. I've seen dresses worn immodestly, as well as pants done modestly. 

All that said, pray for me, I'll pray for you...we all need it.