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1) I would not torture anyone. I would merely play Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black music until they confess information that I need to know. All of my minions will have special ear pieces to filter the music. And no these pieces are not available to the general public.
2) I would then ban anyone other than the absolute dictator from playing Justin Bieber. Some may view this as being very nanny statish. Well, yes, I'm doing all of you a service by not allowing him to be played to the general populace. I said I don't believe in torture ;).
3) The TSA would be eliminated immediately. Spy drones have this problem solved already. And I'll be spying from a sleep number bed. (those things are crazy comfortable). Any idiot trying to bring a bomb on a plane will be vaporized.
7/2) All future minions will have to go through a background check....which isn't for me to find information which will be used against you....rather...I must make sure there will be no one to undermine my administration.