a. The conditional clause...the I hope you don't get mad...but
Ever notice that when someone says that, the direct result is that you get angrier than you would have been?
Here's the thing, if you have something to say, just get to the point. Don't make the wound worse by putting clause in front of it. Just say the hurtful thing and let the stabbing begin. Don't try to soften the blow, you already know what you have to say is going to solicit a reaction one way or the other...get to it.
b. One of the 5 things I actually learned...
Taking mental notes is much better than blasting heads off right then and there. No need for me to get angry anymore...I just take notes and put them in the bank to use them whenever I please. I simply call it elimination of irrational thought..No one thinks rationally when they're angry. All rationality comes when you're calm and have time to deliberate...a whole lot easier to run my life that way.
Take time to develop...and don't just happen overnight. There is a ton of growth that happens in weeks, let alone months. Pray for mine.