14 January 2017

Some Spiritual Struggles

a. A couple of Saturdays ago, I was out of town on vacation, when I came to a crazy realisation. The Roman Liturgy (OF) as practised in the vast majority of parishes is virtually impossible to pray, at least for myself.

The propers of the introit, gradual, offertory, communion verses are gutted from the Liturgy, thus the chances to meditate upon Scripture, and the doctrine of the church are minimised, or downright eliminated for some hymn which more often times than not is completely banal or theologically questionable at best.

I do not have patience for this anymore!, It really has become impossible to pray. (And I grew up with this Liturgy so one would think that I'd at least be able to pray it, heavens no).

Bad Liturgy is such a turn-off, it really does become to the point of a cross, and a burden to my soul rather than what Liturgy is supposed to be, a window into heaven.

As a dear friend has said of me, I have OCO, Obsessive Compulsive Orderliness when it comes to the Liturgy. It is impossible for me to do bad Liturgy. How can anyone be expected to take the Faith seriously, if our worship isn't taken seriously?

b. Surely, it's quite obvious, when the Pope is teaching the Faith, or put in a slightly more colloquial way, restating the obvious, he's infallible. But is that not true of the other Bishops' and priests as well? In short, it's pretty hard to screw up, when one is stating exactly what the Faith is. But that percentage is so small, was it necessary to define this as a dogma for the western church? (We have to bear in mind before the 2nd Vatican Council, the Eastern churches that were in communion with Rome were NOT allowed to theologise according to their own traditions, and so it is impossible really for the vast majority of eastern churches to accept this, and this was not received by the Orthodox (who were excommunicated prior to 1976 (albeit illegally)). I would make an argument that calling a council when something was not in question is a very bad idea. The infallibility of the Pope was not in question at the time. The different isms (liberalism, modernism, etc) were philosophies and strictly speaking NOT theologies, making me wonder if was an issue worth addressing at a council? and not through another means?

c. Isn't it interesting often times that when we open up our hearts to a particular person, they manage to successfully break us. It's rather interesting in this regard because I was near close to accepting a situation that I thought was a good thing. It's a good thing I do not give up so easily. When the tell all book comes out about my various struggles, I swear the royalties are going to be huge. But I do ask for your prayers, I'm definitely going to need them.

Why write at past 2 am? I guess I must be awake.....Please keep me in your prayers, and I will keep you in mine.

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